Ladyfingers NewsLetter Press: Email #8

October 01, 2026

The Cobbler's Children Have No Shoes…

…Nor Do The Stationer’s Children Have Holiday Cards

I know for a fact that some of you guys are people I know in real life (Hi Uncle Tony! 👋). Maybe you’re a regular customer in the shop, or you worked at our kids’ old preschool or you were roommates with Morgan in college! And then there’s some of you who are in the inner circle… like, you came to our wedding, we got you in the group chat or you’re one of the people I send all my potentially offensive or just plain stupid ideas to that we can never make but have to show SOMEONE…

The point is, some of you are on our private “family and friends” mailing list. And if you are, you know that we have been rather, um, inconsistent with sending out a holiday card every year. We always start out with the best intentions in early October (so, you know, right about now) but then LIFE just seems to get (or keep being?) nuts no matter how prepared we think we are. For starters, it’s basically the busiest time of the year for our business: running a retail store is no joke and our wholesale side is super busy with creating new products to launch at a trade show that happens every January. The twins were born the day before Thanksgiving in 2019, which means sometimes their birthdays are on Black Friday or even Small Business Saturday (yay)*. And then there’s the year-end special events with school, family obligations and the never-ending brain fart of trying to remember “Did I already get this book for this person lastChristmas?” What I’m trying to say is, for those of you who have been expecting a holiday card from us for the past few years but haven’t gotten one, please don’t judge us too harshly about talking about sending out holiday cards.

This went up on the door of our shop on a Wednesday, then the next day was Thanksgiving, and then this “Friday” we're referring to is Black Friday. No big deal. BRB, essentially.**

But we make cards and gifts for a living, so this time of year is kind of our jam. And all you independent biz ppl know how important the 4th quarter is. So every year I feel like Dr. Ellie Sattler in Jurassic park, making that last mad dash to the maintenance shed. Yes, I’m covered in sweat and Triceratops poop, my ankle is broken*** and I’m dragging my body across the jungle as fast as I can, knowing that at any second a Velociraptor could bust out from the bushes and eat me alive, but I MUST reach that shed to flip the breaker!! I WILL make it to January… I WILL SURVIVE THE HOLIDAYS!!!

Long story short, that’s why our holiday cards are usually late. By a few years sometimes.

You think I’m being dramatic, but it’s actually how I feel during the months of October, November and December.

So in an effort to help people who ALSO feel like they spend most of their lives hobbling away from theoretical Velociraptors who are hiding behind every corner, we made some holiday cards that we hope make things just a little bit easier for you.

Every year we get tons of requests from smart and thoughtful people like yourselves who ask for a personalized card that they can buy in bulk to mail or hand out at the holidays, and every year we hem and haw until it’s too late and then we say, “We’ll solve this problem next year!” And then guess what we do the next year? The same damn thing.

Well my little buckaroos, that’s about to change. We (finally!) put together a collection of designs that can be personalized with hand-lettered names that may include, but are not limited to:

Your name
Your family’s name
Your pet’s name
The name of your small business
The name of your large business
Your city
Your neighborhood
Your political affiliation
Your gender identity

(I personally would like to receive one of these cards that say “Merry Christmas from LESBIANS”)

Forget Farm-to-Table! The next big thing is iPad-to-Risograph!****

If you have a store, bakery, florist shop, car wash, bookstore, hardware store, museum, sex shop, cafe, liquor store or any other type of business that we wholesale to, consider ordering some to place by your register. It could say something like, “Happy Holidays from The Freshest Loaf in Washington!” or “Seasons Greetings from a Kinky Californian!” If you’re having a hard time deciding, you can always go with the name of your town or neighborhood, or simply just “Me”.

They’re also a good idea if you are planning to send cards to your clients, your employees, your kids’ teachers and coaches, your mail person, your garbage person (I’m not talking about your ex!), your librarian, your therapist, your CSA coordinator…literally anyone who joins you in the act of taking care of each other throughout the year! 🩷

Each design comes in three different color ways to choose from!
(You can thank my Libra-ness for that)

(Of course, we also do super-mega custom holiday cards too. We have some folks who we’ve worked with closely to create their holiday cards every year for over a decade, and it’s been such an unexpectedly beautiful way to have become part of a family’s story. It’s really sweet.)

We also made these custom designs as Tiny Cards, which make great gift tags or a quick “Hi and Bye!” note. Sometimes you need a lot of space inside a card to write, and sometimes you just DON’T.

“Sorry, I didn't have a lot of room to write!”

We’ve also been getting a lot of orders of these custom return address rubber stamps these days, which I assume is because there are a lot you who are ON IT and getting a jump start addressing your holiday envelopes! (But again, I wouldn’t know what that's like!)

Please know that whatever camp you’re in:

You enjoy the way you’ve always done it with getting family photos taken and made into cards through an online service
Your holiday cards technically arrive before the new year, but you order them at the last minute in a frenzied rush.
Your holiday cards are the last thing on your mind; maybe you’ll send out a “Happy New Year!’ card, but you’re tired of lying to yourself.

…There is no judgement from us! We’ve done all of these things. It makes me feel better to know that somewhere out there, there is a child of a Cobbler bonding with a child of a Stationer over THE INJUSTICE and getting their notes ready for a lifetime of therapy.

FOOTNOTES:

* I shouldn’t complain because it’s a goddamn miracle they’re in this world at all, so I’ll take whatever day they chose to join us here on earth!

Infertility Bingo Pregnancy Loss IVF Greeting Card

** Our friend Xander once gave Morgan a shirt she made that said SELF-EMPLOYED BY AN ASSHOLE and it was one of her most favorite things EVER and wish we knew where it went! 😫

*** OK apparently my memory of that movie is not as accurate as I thought bc I just re-watched that scene to grab a screenshot and I don’t think she’s covered in poop nor does she have a broken ankle, but I should write to Steven Spielberg and make those suggestions because I think it would really make that scene much more memorable.

**** Morgan caught me zooming in on the card and scoffs at me, “Did you just… ZOOM IN?” And I was like, “Uh… yeah…? Why….?” and then she goes, “ZOOMING IN IS FOR OLD PEOPLE” 😂 So people, I ask you: is that really true?? Do you think that too? Or is she just teasing me because my birthday is next week? I am really curious about this. If you see a reel where someone is zooming in, do you assume they’re old??? Please let me know bc I’m having a crisis over here.

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