All Cards

A (avocado) Toast To Your Sobriety!

$6.00

Celebrate this momentous occasion with a toast of a different kind! A2 sized letterpress card with envelope. Blank Inside.

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Happy Earth Day! I mean Birthday, 'cuz let's face it, the planet is SCREWED!

$6.00

What better way to celebrate a birthday than to commiserate the ultimate demise of our planet together? A2 sized letterpress card with envelope. Blank Inside....

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Kick Your Ass For Your Birthday

$6.00

"You already have everything, so I figured after you finish reading this card I'd take you out back and kick your ass 'cuz that's something...

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For your birthday, I convinced your racist, Trump-loving family to vote democrat...

$6.00

You probably have a better chance of being hit by a stray Russian satellite on your birthday than your racist family switching political tickets. But we...

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Borders Are Imaginary, Walls Are Not Hip; You're Like Family To Me, Congrats On Your Citizenship!

$6.00

I can name a few things that don't make America great. You officially becoming a part of it isn't one of them. A2 sized letterpress card...

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Time To Relax! Happy Retirement!

$6.00

When your schedule switches from meetings with accountants to meetings with a recliner, this card is for you! A2 sized letterpress card with envelope. Blank...

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Infertility Bingo

$6.00

When you've tried everything, you deserve a prize. Hopefully it's a baby, and not just bingo money. (But that would be nice too, considering how...

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Ta Ta Titties!

$6.00

Whether it's elective surgery or not, nothing says "See you lata', areola!" like this finely crafted greeting card. A2 sized letterpress card with envelope. Blank...

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#1 Moms

$6.00

It's ok if they're tied for first. That isn't a bad thing. A2 sized letterpress card with envelope. Blank Inside.

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#1 Dads

$6.00

It's ok if they're tied for first. That isn't a bad thing. A2 sized letterpress card with envelope. Blank Inside.

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Dad Yelling - Happy Father's Day

$6.00

When you can't get his attention, maybe this card will do the trick. Celebrate Dad (and his selective hearing) with this awesome letterpress birthday card! A2 size, blank inside...

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You Can Lean On Me

$6.00

"Lean on me...when you're not strong...And I'll be your friend...I'll help you carry on..." - Love, your Segway A2 sized letterpress card with envelope....

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I Knead You

$6.00

I just hope you knead me as much as I knead you. A2 sized letterpress card with envelope. Blank Inside.

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I Want To Spend All Nine Lives With You

$6.00

When 8 lives of fuzzy cuddles just ain't enough... A2 sized letterpress card with envelope. Blank Inside.

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I Want To Spend All My Dog Years With You

$6.00

It doesn't matter if it's 7, 14, 21, 28 or even 98 years... I want them all to be filled with snuggles from you! A2 sized...

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Fuck Me! I Did/Did Not Remember Our Anniversary!

$6.00

This card is a win/win situation. Either you're going to demonstrate that you're THE BEST AND MOST REMEMBERFUL SPOUSE EVER or you're admitting your shortfalls and...

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Let's Grow Old... And Be Like All Those Classy Old Gays in Palm Springs

$6.00

I'd like to thank the creator, cast and crew of The Birdcage for giving us permission to be fabulously and unapologetically gay af as we gracefully age...

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On Second Thought, Let's Go Back In The Closet... I Want 7 Minutes In Heaven With You!

$6.00

I don't know why people have such negative connotations about being in the closet. It's kind of the best place to make out! A2 sized...

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LGBTQILOVEU

$6.00

Whether you describe yourself using any of the terms in the acronym or not, the language of love is universal. A2 sized letterpress card with envelope. Blank...

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The Size Of This Card Does Not Accurately Reflect How Much I Love You Tiny Card

$2.50

This adorable 2.5" x 2.5" Letterpress Tiny Card is the perfect supplement to any thoughtful gift! Letterpress printed, 2.5" x 2.5" with a blank interior.

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I Donut Think I Can Thank You Enough Tiny Card

$2.50

This adorable 2.5" x 2.5" Letterpress Tiny Card is the perfect supplement to any thoughtful gift! Letterpress printed, 2.5" x 2.5" with a blank interior.

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This Holiday, Let's Get Drunk And Ignore Our Parents

$6.00

Ugh, sometimes it's just TOO MUCH to try to coordinate with Mom and her overbearing partner that she just started seeing but insists on coming to every family...

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May Your Holidays Be Filled With Whatever Makes You Happy

$6.00

This holiday season, you do you! Whether you like to celebrate with booze, not booze, cat heads, hamburgers, Tide Pods™, or WHATEVER - we hope it brings you joy!...

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Dear Mom, I Know It's My Birthday... Happy My Birthday To You!

$6.00

We've all been raised to associate birthdays with being showered with gifts, affection, and appreciation - but you know who could also use a little...

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I'll Always Be Your Tech Support

$6.00

You have the patience of a saint and a basic knowledge of Microsoft Word, which basically qualifies you to fix the computer belonging to anyone...

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Happy Birthday, I Hope You're Day Isn't To Spoiled By Alot Of Bad Grammar And.

$6.00

Ah, I see. You're the asshole that likes to tease your friend about their obsession with proper grammar. WELL GOOD, 'cuz we designed a card JUST...

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Friendship Is The Best Ship

$6.00

Ahoy! Finally a card for your First (and BESTEST) Mate! Letterpress printed A2 size with a blank interior.

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I Love You Despite The Way You Load a Dishwasher

Sold Out $6.00

Oh god. There really is no greater horror than to stand there and watch someone else load your dishwasher. If your relationship is able to...

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I Appreciate Your Presence On Social Media

$6.00

The land of social media can be a scary place. Fake news! Eek! Trolls! Yikes! Sheeple! Oh my! Thankfully, you have friends who aren't afraid...

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High! from Oregon

$6.00

Stoners rejoice! There is now a humorous and appropriate way to communicate with others outside of your beautiful state. Makes a great belated birthday card...

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Congrats On The New Place!

$6.00

When watching cable TV shows about home-hunting, don't you love the quaint names they give everything? "Cozy Cabin"..."Trendy Townhouse"..."Friendly Farm"... but let's be real, people....

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You've Always Been A Great Ma... But Are You Ready To Become A Grand Ma?

$6.00

Searching for the perfect card to accompany your exciting news? Search no longer! This card is the perfect size to slip a photo of your...

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Social Media Pyramid Scheme

$6.00

OMFG IF I HAVE TO POLITELY DECLINE TO BUY PATTERNED LEGGINGS/A SUITE OF FITNESS SHAKES/BASICALLY BASIC ESSENTIAL OILS BY SOMEONE WHO I THOUGHT WAS MY FRIEND,...

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Happy Birthday! I Literally Have No Idea How Old You Are

$6.00

If you're like me and you're approaching the age where the people who have been moisturizing since they've been 14 are now totally fooling you,...

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Life Is One Continuous Transition

$6.00

We designed this card for our friends in the trans community who are transitioning into the person they've always been inside. But it seems that everyone...

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I Would Punch a Nazi For You

$6.00

It's crazy to think that we live in a day and age where we have to protect each other against Nazis. Again. But here we...

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Fist Bump - You're Done With The Pump!

$6.00

There are no words to explain the sense of newfound freedom and personal joy once the breast pump is put away for good. May we...

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I Love You More Than Ranch Dressing

$6.00

Is it a dressing or a sauce? Who knows? Who cares? All we know is you love it. A lot. Letterpress printed, A2 size, blank inside...

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Balloons Tiny Card

$2.50

This adorable 2.5" x 2.5" Letterpress Tiny Card is the perfect supplement to any thoughtful gift! Letterpress printed, 2.5" x 2.5" with a blank interior.

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Bottoms Up Tiny Card

$2.50

This adorable 2.5" x 2.5" Letterpress Tiny Card is the perfect supplement to any thoughtful gift! Letterpress printed, 2.5" x 2.5" with a blank interior.

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Rainbow Tiny Card

$2.50

This adorable 2.5" x 2.5" Letterpress Tiny Card is the perfect supplement to any thoughtful gift! Letterpress printed, 2.5" x 2.5" with a blank interior.

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Eat Me, Pumpkin Spice! (Large Version)

$6.00

Love our Tiny Card version of this, but just wish it was, well, BIGGER? Wish no more! This A6-sized card is letterpress printed and is...

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